Chuck vs the Shrink
by irishdragon12000
Summary: When a mission goes bad...Is it all in his head?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I don't own nor make any $ from Chuck. On a personal note, I have not forgotten my other stories; I'm still working on them. I just got this idea and wanted to run with it._

The man slowly approached the door with a sense of despair, not because he feared what was waiting inside, as a matter of fact it was a very pleasant sight. There would be a kindly looking white haired man sitting in a luxurious chair with a warm and friendly smile. Across from him there would be an empty chair and he would welcome him to sit down. He slowly opened the door with the enthusiasm of a man on his way to the gallows, and felt his frustration billow up as his thoughts was confirmed. The despair the came from a feeling of hopelessness, as he began to think this ordeal would never end.

Chuck sighed as he sat down in the chair and waited for it to begin. He hated this. Hated having to face the same questions over and over, hated the monotony of his answers, but mostly hated being here.

 _Here..he thought to himself, was a relative term when your involved with the CIA it seemed. In truth he didn't exactly know where here was, but somehow he found himself getting here everyday…..Sitting here in same room everyday….Talking to the same white haired man everyday….Explaining what happened everyday….Losing his grip on reality everyday….Everyday since the incident._

"So how have you been doing Chuck?"

"We have been over this before Gideon," Chuck replied sharply.

"Yes, and we will go through it again," Gideon pressed.

"What's the point?"

"Chuck please," he pressed.

"How have you been?"

"The same," Chuck replied with frustration

"I see. And Sarah?"

"The same."

"Still not talking?"

"Nope."

"Look Chuck I know its hard but.."

"But what!" he lashed out.

"It's hard to have a wife that doesn't talk to me? She ignores me? We barely have any interaction at all," he yelled, the frustration and anger overflowing.

"And it's not just her! Ellie, Devon, Casey, hell even Morgan! All of them!

They all treat me the same way!"

"And how is that," the white haired man asked.

"Like I'm not even there! Like I don't exist! Jesus ever since that fucking incident, its like..,"

"Just a minute there Chuck," Gideon interrupted.

"Why do you keep calling it an incident? Why don't you call it what it was?

You were shot."

"I know I was shot goddamn it," he replied angrily.

"And yet you refuse accept it."

"I don't refuse to accept it! I know I was shot! I just can't accept why my family is treating me like this! I understand that they are afraid that I could have been killed, but for Christ's sake I'm still alive," he yelled the emotion evident in his voice.

Gideon pushed his hand through his long mane of white hair and sighed. The fact that his questioner seemed frustrated only served to feed Chuck's anger.

"Frustrating isn't it! Try living it," he snapped.

He ignored Chuck's anger and calmly spoke.

"Chuck we reach this point every time," he began.

"We always get to the point of you telling me how you being shot was essentially not a big deal for you. That it affected your family and friends more then it affected you."

"It did Gideon! How many times do I have to tell you I'm fine!"

"Alright Chuck. Let me go in a different direction," Gideon said.

"What's the point! This isn't working! I'm not getting any better, as a matter of fact I feel worse then before this started," Chuck said.

"Just humor me," he replied.

"Fine," he replied in a huff.

"Thank you. Now if I have this correct, every time you leave here, you go back to your apartment and try to talk to Sarah. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And what is she doing when you come home?"

"Gideon what's the…"

"Please Chuck. What is she doing?"

"She is looking at our wedding album," he replied.

"Every time?"

"Yes! Every….every time," Chuck said slowly as if he began to realize something was wrong.

Chuck blanched as he began to realize that Sarah was always doing the same thing when he got home, as a matter of fact she even seemed to be wearing the same clothes. It was the clothes she wore on their first date.

"So every time you leave here, you go home and find your wife, looking at your wedding album," Gideon said.

"Yes. Gideon why….what…what does that mean?"

"What does she say when you try to talk to her?"

"Gideon wait, I don't know if."

"What does she say," Gideon pressed.

"She asks me why did I go, and then I tell her that I am under orders to go see the psychologist to get cleared for field duty," Chuck replied.

" What does she say after you tell her," Gideon asked.

"She just keeps asking me. What does that mean," Chuck replied with a sense of fear.

"I want you to close your eyes..,"

"What for," Chuck snapped.

"Just do it."

"But I don't...," was as far as he got before he felt his eyelids getting heavy and he fell into a dreamlike reality.

He saw himself with Gideon, and they were in a room much different from the one they were just in. It was a very clinical room, one you would see in psychiatric hospital with what appeared to be a large observation window through the wall. Chuck looked through the window and saw a large grey haired man and an older woman sitting at a table. He was dressed like doctor, but his unkempt hair and scraggly beard suggested he might be the patient. The woman had her back toward Chuck, and he couldn't get a good look at her.

"Gideon? What's going on? Did you hypnotize me?"

"Something like that Chuck."

"I don't understand? Where are we?"

"We are at the military hospital Chuck."

"Yes I know that Gideon! I've been coming here everyday since I got shot! I mean what are we doing here? What's going on?"

"Relax Chuck. We are visiting."

"Visiting? Who?"

"Just follow me," Gideon said as he walked through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own not make any $ from Chuck**

Chuck followed him through the door and found himself walking in an empty field.

"Gideon?"

"Gideon," Chuck yelled, but there was no answer.

"Where am I?"

The field looked to be wilting under a blazing sun, yet for some reason it didn't feel hot at all.

"Where...,"

"You are here," Gideon chimed in as he seemed to materialize from the field.

"Gideon! What's going on? Where am I?"

"Your visiting Chuck," Gideon replied.

"Visiting? What? Where am I," he spat back.

"A place and a time," Gideon replied.

"What place? What happened to the people in the room? What happened to the room," he cried.

"I didn't say we were visiting them, I said we are visiting. You asked a question and I gave an answer, just because you assumed where we were going, doesn't mean you were correct," Gideon replied.

"But I..,"

"Don't understand what is going on. Yes I know that Chuck," Gideon replied finishing his sentence.

Very slowly Chuck could see thin whisps of white mist materialized in the wheat field. The color became a more vibrant white as they concentrated in separate areas along the field. Slowly the mist transitioned into human forms, and Chuck could see people emerge from the cloudy shapes.

"Gideon..,"

"Don't be afraid Chuck. They are not going to harm you."

"Who..what... are they," Chuck asked with more than a tinge of fear in his voice.

"They are soldiers Chuck."

The two men stood in the field as the soldiers approached them from all angles and formed a loose circle around them. The soldiers were dressed in dark woolen coats, which seemed out of place in the hot field.

"What are they doing here?"

"They are here to help you."

"Help me? How?"

"They are here to guide you through the field," Gideon replied.

"Why?"

"Because this is sacred ground and they know the way."

"Sacred ground?"

"Chuck many years ago there was a great battle on this field. Many men perished in this field while giving the last full measure of devotion."

"The last full measure of devotion?"

"Yes Chuck."

He suddenly flashed back to the mission.

It had been an uneventful night, almost boring actually. It was a low priority target and more than likely he was not going to show up. Chuck and Sarah had attended an embassy party and were trying to identify the target, but he wasn't flashing. They were rather enjoying the night off as spies and were dancing as just a married couple, when Chuck suddenly saw him.

He was a nobody. A low level double agent that was trying to sell intel to anyone who would buy it. He was so sloppy that it was almost a foregone conclusion that he wouldn't be able to make any trouble for them, and indeed his apprehension was textbook, as he was waiting for his car. It should not have happened, but then again nobody told them about the driver.

Chuck saw a flash out of the corner of his eye and stepped in front of Sarah.

He felt the heat before the pain. A discharge of superheated air that burned his face, and an instant later, he was on the floor. Then the pain began.

Casey was the first to reach him and assess the situation.

"Jesus! Chuck can you hear me?"

 _Chuck?...why did he call me Chuck?_ He never calls me Chuck...He thought as the the big man began to probe his chest. At first he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, but when he couldn't catch his breath he began to realize it might be more serious.

Then he saw the look on Casey's face and the fear started. He never saw Casey look at him like this before, it was a look of concern and regret; the sight of which terrified him.

"Just breath Chuck," Casey said as he removed his tactical windbreaker and pressed it against his chest.

 _STOP CALLING ME CHUCK._.. he wanted to scream but all he could muster was a choking sound.

"Jesus! What happened," Carina yelled as she came into Chucks line of view from somewhere out of his view.

"He's hit. Call for medical, his lungs are filling up with blood," Casey sad as he began to manhandle him into a new position.

The voices grew faint, and he felt himself falling into the darkness.

"...Agent down...GSW...close range...Casey... 2 minutes to pick...God..what about...alker..,"

Then the darkness engulfed him.

 _Chuck don't leave me..._

Chuck opened his his eyes and he was back in the wheat field _._

"She needs you Chuck," Gideon said while nodding his head.

"Sarah," Chuck said sadly.

Gideon approached him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"She hasn't been able to get on with her life. She needs you. All of them need you. You still have work to do Chuck."

"How can I help them! I'm dead," Chuck cried bitterly.

Gideon remained quiet as Chuck progressed through his anger.

"Why did it have to happen! Why now! It's not fair! Tell me why," he screamed.

"I'm sorry I can't tell you that," Gideon replied.

"Why not!"

"Because I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No Chuck I'm sorry I don't know."

"Why don't you know!"

"Because it's not for me to know," Gideon replied.

"What does that mean! What is this place? Where am

I?"

"You are in a time and a place Chuck." Gideon replied.

"You mean purgatory don't you," Chuck spat.

"I understand why you think that, but it doesn't work that way Chuck."

"Well what way does it work Gideon" he replied angrily.

"Chuck I know that you are having a difficult time with everything but I'm here to help you. I am a friend, but you still have work that needs to be completed."

"What is that?"

"You need to let her go."

"I don't want to do that! I can't do that," Chuck replied.

"You have to. It's the only way."

"Only way? What do you mean the only way? The only way for what?"

"Forward."

"Forward! How can I go forward? I'm dead!"

"Not for you Chuck. For her," Gideon said.

Instantaneously Sarah appeared in the field in front of him.

"Sarah," he screamed as he ran to embrace her, but just as he was about to reach her, she vanished.

"No! Sarah don't go," he sobbed as he fell

To his knees.

"Why are you doing this to me," he cried in frustration.

"I will help you," Gideon said as he put his hand on Chuck's shoulder.

"Help me what!"

"Help her."

"Help her! How can I help her from here," he spat.

"Sarah needs you. She is lost Chuck, and she won't be able to go on with her life if you don't help her. You need to let her know it's alright to let you go. That's the only way she will ever be able to move on."

"How do I do that?"

"You need to let her go."

"I don't know if I can," he said with tears in his eyes.

"I will help you," Gideon said while extending his hand.


End file.
